Always
by Twilight Elf
Summary: Former Sith Lord, Revan Darkstar, remembers his relationship with the exile, Jaden Firestar. The love he shared with her before his fall and her exile.


_After playing KOTORII, I was inspired to write my own fanfic. So, I hope you like it._

_**Disclaimer:**_

_I do not own Knights of Old Republic or Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords._

* * *

He sat in the pilot's chair of the Ebon Hawk, drifting in and out of his memories. He had left his friends and Bastila behind, telling them that he was heading to a place that they could not follow.

It had been a year since he had helped destroy the Star Forge, and Revan had regained most of his memories. He remembered his days as a Jedi Knight . . . and his days as the Sith Lord. But most of all he remembered **her**. Her . . . the one person he had cared the most about in his entire life. The one who had been cast out of the order because of _him_ . . . became known as an Exile to all.

It was all because of him that so many lives and dreams had been shattered. So many deaths were upon his hands from his days as a Sith Lord . . . and his days as a Jedi. Even during the Mandalorian Wars he wasn't innocent. He sacrificed so many lives in order to win against the invaders. Never once considering if there was another alternative.

"I did it all to win" He whispered.

Revan could not help but wonder if things could have been different if only he had listened to the Masters . . . or her request. Was the cost of defeating the Mandalorians truly worth it? That was a question that he could never answer.

He sighed and allowed his thoughts to return to the first woman he had ever loved.

She had been one of the loveliest woman he had ever seen, with that long, silky black hair and those dark brown eyes that any man could drown in. She'd stolen his heart so long ago and he had done the same to her. Her name was Jaden Firestar.

Revan propped his feet on the console of the Ebon Hawk, folded his hands behind his head, and closed his eyes; remembering his time together with Jaden.

-+-+-+-+-

A seven year old boy, with crystal blue eyes and snow white hair, walked through the corridors of the Jedi Enclave; searching for something. He had just left his best friend Malak a couple of minutes ago, when he'd suddenly heard it. It was the sound of someone crying. So, deciding to follow the sounds, the young boy went off in search of it.

As he turned down a left corridor, he finally found the source of the crying: a five year old girl who was sitting against a wall, her legs pulled against her chest and she was sobbing into them.

She snapped her head up when he was about three feet away, her brown eyes were blood shot from crying so much and her ebony hair was slightly messy.

"Hey, why are you crying?" The boy asked her.

She simply stared at him as he sat down beside her.

"Come on. You can tell me."

The girl wiped some tears away before speaking. "I-I don't want t-to be here. I want to go home to my mommy and daddy. I don't want to be a Jedi, I-I just want to go home! I don't have any friends so nobody will miss me. The masters, especially master Vrook, are so strict that they scare me. I-I just want to go home!"

The boy watched as she broke into fresh tears and buried her face back in her knees.

He placed one arm around her shoulder and used the other to make her face him. "I'd miss you. And I'm sure that others would as well."

A look of curiosity flash in her eyes before she turned away from him.

"If you want . . . I could be your friend." The boy said, a light blush staining his cheeks.

She looked up at him and seemed to be on the brink of tears again, but instead of seeing sadness in her eyes the boy saw happiness.

"You'd like to be my friend?" she asked.

He nodded and looked at her expectantly.

A dazzling smile graced her face, and she extended her hand. "I'm Jaden. Jaden Firestar."

The boy took her hand and pulled her up with him, flashing her his own charming smile. "I'm Revan. Revan Darkstar"

-+-+-+-+-

He found her sitting on one of the benches, watching the setting sun of Dantooine. Eighteen year old Revan sat beside his best friend and wrapped his arm around her.

"You know, I was really impressed with your lightsaber demonstration today. And despite how he may act, I believe that Master Vrook was as well."

"Yeah, I think that Atris was too. Uh . . . at least I think she was." She turned and flashed that brilliant smile that he loved so much. "I was also impressed with your demonstration, Revan. Your abilities are improving everyday."

Revan smirked and lightly caressed her face. "I'm not the only one. Your skills are progressing along quite well. I bet that pretty soon you'll rival that of the greatest masters." He saw her blushing and stammering at his current actions and couldn't help but deepen his smirk.

"I mean it, sweetheart. You made more of an impression on the disciples than Vrook did. Especially that young blonde one. He was quite taken by you." Revan paused and leaned forward to whisper into her ear.

"_I'm_ taken by you."

Jaden rose up and started to back away from him. "Revan . . . w-w-we can't. I-It's forbidden. If we were discovered -"

Before she could finish, Revan took her into his arms and kissed her. It was soft and gentle, but there was so much passion in it.

They stayed like that as the remaining rays of the sun disappeared behind Dantooine's hills. And when they separated, they looked into each others eyes and started to walk hand-in-hand back into the enclave.

Both knowing that they could never go back to the way things were.

-+-+-+-+-

Revan stormed out of the councils chambers and went straight to his quarters, Malak following close behind. He had just gotten out of a heated argument with the council about the invading Mandalorians.

"Damn it! Don't they understand that if we don't do something soon, the Republic will fall to those savages!" he vented as he made his way through the corridors.

"Revan calm down. I'm sure the council has their reasons for wanting to wait." Malak reasoned as he followed his friend. "You just need to be patient and wait my friend."

"Patient? Patient!?! If I remain _patient_ and wait any longer, there won't be a need to protect the Republic any more! It will already be conquered! We need to act now!"

Revan stopped and brought his hand to his chin. "And I know exactly what needs to be done."

He turned and faced his friend, knowing that Malak would follow him no matter what. "Malak, you told me that you would stand with me on this issue no matter what. So I need you to gather our supporters and tell them to meet us at the old grove at dawn tomorrow."

Malak nodded and took off ahead of him, in search of the Jedi who also agreed with them about joining the war effort.

As Revan approached his room he felt a familiar, soothing presence and knew right away who it was.

He opened his door and motioned for her to follow. Revan closed the door after her and turned to see Jaden sitting on his bed with a concerned look, her dark eyes seemed to see into his very soul.

"Revan . . . I heard you spoke with the Masters today. That you argued with them about the Jedi not joining the war effort."

Revan only nodded as he removed his cloak, boots, and lightsaber and laid on the opposite side of her on the bed.

Jaden looked down at him with love and compassion. "Let me guess, they disagreed with you." she said it as more of a statement than a question.

"You'd be right on that one, sweetheart. They believe that we should wait and be patient. That we should do nothing as more innocents die everyday on the Outer Rim!" He blew a short strand of white hair out of his face.

"But . . . I have a plan . . . and I need your help." He sat up and held her against him. "I've decided to take what Jedi that will follow me and join the war effort. I will go against the Council's wishes."

Revan looked deeply into her eyes.

"What I need to know is whether you will follow me. If you do I have no doubt that more Jedi will follow. You're a natural leader and that's why so many try to follow in your footsteps even now. You draw others to you." He paused. "So . . . what will it be, Jaden? Will you follow me?"

She looked into his eyes and it seemed that she was battling with something. But finally, Jaden laid her face against his chest and spoke.

"Yes. I'll follow you into war, Revan. I cannot stand by and watch as so many die and do nothing." She pressed herself against his body and kissed him passionately. "I will follow you, my heart."

Revan smiled as he whispered into her ear "Thank you, my dearest. We'll meet with the others in the morning. But tonight I'd like you to stay here with me."

He laid back down and waited as Jaden removed her boots and double-bladed lightsaber. Unlike his single-bladed, blue lightsaber, Jaden's was a double-bladed silver one. She was one of the few who had chosen to wield one, since they were considered to be the more aggressive blade.

Revan waited until she was snuggled against his chest, before covering them with his blankets. And soon they fell asleep listening to the sound of the others heartbeat through the Force.

-+-+-+-+-

He finally found her in her temporary quarters aboard the Leviathan.

As soon as he entered, Revan knew that something was wrong. Her once vibrant presence in the Force, that he knew so well, was now nothing but an echo.

"Jaden?"

He walked over to her and brought her tear streaked face up to meet his. "What happened? Why are you crying? The war's over."

'_For now,_' he thought.

"Revan. I-I . . . hold me please!" Before he knew it Jaden had launched herself into his arms, crying her eyes out. It hurt him to see her cry, it always did.

Not questioning her anymore, he simply held her and tried to comfort her. Then laid her down on the bed and soothe her as best he could. And within minutes, she was sound asleep in his arms.

Revan looked down at her face and suddenly realised what had happened to her.

'_Oh sweetheart . . . I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for what I've done. I know you regret doing what you did, but it was necessary. It has all been necessary._'

A few hours ago, he had received a summoning that the Council had sent to all the Jedi who joined the war. But Revan would not come . . . at least not yet. He still had a few more things that he needed to do.

'_But soon the time will come.'_ he snuggled closer to her and proceeded to burn her image into his mind and soul; knowing that this would be their last moments together.

Several hours later, he watched as Jaden awoke and looked into his eyes lovingly. She didn't suspect him of anything.

"Revan . . . I've decided to return and face the Council."

He sat up and looked away from her.

"I've changed, Revan. And not for the better. At that last battle above Malachor . . . I . . . never mind." Jaden turned his face towards her. "Will you return with me?" She ran her hand through his white locks.

Revan looked deeply into her eyes, knowing that he may never be able to do so again, and shook his head. "No. I won't be returning to the Council or the Republic just yet. There are . . . some things that I need to take care of first."

He cupped her face. "But . . . I do think that you should return. I will not ask you to follow me this time."

'_I can't. I love you too much. To much to ask you to follow me down this path.'_ Revan looked towards the door. "We should get your stuff packed."

Jaden stood from the bed and nodded. "Yeah. I need to get going soon."

So, together, they gathered her few belongings, but Revan could feel that what was left of his heart was breaking. It wasn't too long after that Jaden was packed and ready to go.

"Revan . . . I know that will see each other again, but I want you to know something." She cupped his face in her soft hands. "No matter what happens, I will _always_ love you."

Unable to take it anymore, he pulled her against him and kissed her as passionately as he could.

'_I'm doing the right thing. I'm doing the right thing.'_ He repeatedly thought.

Revan kept them like that until they needed to part for air. He looked into her dark eyes for the last time and kissed her forehead. "You should go."

Unable to speak, she simply nodded and pulled away from him; tears were shining in her eyes.

"Good-bye, my dearest. Know that no matter what happens, you will always be in my heart." Revan said as she walked out of his life forever.

He reached into his black robes and retrieved the mask he hidden. Soon after he heard the entrance of his apprentice.

"So you let her go." Malak said.

There was no answer.

"It was for the best Revan. She is no longer as powerful as she once was. I sensed it as soon as I saw her again."

Revan could feel his anger beginning to stir at Malak's words.

"She is broken and weak."

That was it. He broke.

Revan whirled around and began to force choke Malak. "**Never** speak of her like that again in my presence." He said venomously. "Do I make myself **clear**?"

Malak nodded with fear evident in his eyes and Revan released him.

"Gather the fleet and prepare them to leave."

Within a few seconds, Malak was out of the room, leaving Revan alone with his thoughts.

He looked down at the mask he still held. _'She has changed . . . and perhaps she is slightly broken. But not completely.'_

Suddenly, he realized something and began to chuckle softly._ 'It's ironic. For so long we worried about the Council finding out about us and tearing us apart. But in the end, I was the one who tore us apart.'_

A single tear fell from his eyes, and he placed the cold mask on. Completely hiding his beautiful, crystal blue eyes.

Revan was no longer a Jedi Knight.

He was now a Sith Lord.

-+-+-+-+-

Revan opened his eyes and gazed out the viewport. About a week after Jaden's departure, he had received word about a Jedi being exiled for joining the war effort. He knew right away who it was.

"Letting her go was the last good deed I did before I became Darth Revan."

Even though he had already fallen at the time, he could not bring himself to convert her. He had loved her too much even then. But he'd also known that his enemies would have eventually tried to use her to get to him.

Letting her go had ensured her safety, for the most part, and his position amongst the Sith. Revan had no doubts that if Jaden had stayed with him, Malak would have acted differently and used her to seize the role as the Dark Lord of the Sith.

"I just need to make one last stop before I depart from Republic space."

Revan had programmed T3 with some last commands that he wanted him to do when he abandoned the Hawk. He wasn't completely sure what would happen to the vessel or the droids once he left, but he wasn't concerned.

Soon his thoughts returned back to Jaden. 'Where are you now, sweetheart? Are you safe? Are you lonely? Have you found someone else? Do you hate me yet for all that I have done? But more importantly, do you _still_ love me and think of me as much as I do of you? Even if you do, I don't care. I will always love you. _Always_.'

After those final thoughts, Revan brought the Ebon Hawk out of hyperspace.

-+-+-+-+-

**Four Years Later**

On the Peragus Mining Facility a lone figure floated in a kolto tank, asleep and unaware of the world around her. Her face hung down, with black strands of hair slightly concealed it. But soon she heard a mysterious voice in her mind. One that would play an important role in her life.

"Awaken."

Her body began to jerk before she slid out of the kolto tank.

The woman lay sprawled upon the floor for a few minutes before she started to move. She pushed up on her hands and brushed aside strands of hair that had come lose from her ponytail. Then she opened her eyes, revealing a pair of beautiful dark brown orbs.

The Exile, Jaden Firestar, had finally awoken.

-+-+- **Finished **-+-+-


End file.
